Virgin Trains moves into perfume market with ‘scent of Pendolino’
Richard Branson, the cheery public face of Virgin, today made a bold move into the UK perfume market with a range of products based on his Virgin Trains franchise. ‘Our research shows that what most...
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Virgin warns ‘First Group may improve West Coast Mainline service’
In a dispute that has now been handed over to the courts, Virgin Trains has claimed that the awarding of the west coast main line to First Great Western opens the real threat of improvements to...
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Santa to challenge decision to award present franchise to Easter Bunny
Bearded franchise-holder Father Christmas today strongly criticised the Government’s decision to award the West Coast Christmas Eve present-delivery franchise to his rival, the Easter Bunny. ‘I shall...
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Overcrowding on London Midland train creates dark matter from passengers
Overcrowding on a London Midland service to Crewe from London Euston earlier today reached a critical point when the densely packed passengers fused together to create dark matter and the beginnings of...
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Commuter violently tarred and feathered after taking phone call in Quiet...
Commuter Darren Watson, 31, was viciously attacked yesterday by fellow passengers on the 07.18 Virgin Trains service to London. ‘The journey started pleasantly enough’, said Darren. ‘People were...
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Corbyn insists ‘seats were occupied by Pokeman Go characters’
The spat between Jeremy Corbyn and Sir Richard Branson has hit a new high today following the release of footage from the Virgin train Corbyn says forced him to sit on the floor showing there were...
View ArticleEast Coast Railway franchise found on Ebay
Listed as having several ‘not so careful’ owners, rail services on the East Coast Main Line have been discovered in a job lot of broken capitalism; alongside Carillion, RBS and a wax-work Peter...
View ArticleEast Coast Main Line to be run by O’Jays
After months of speculation the government has finally taken control of the struggling East Coast Main Line, to hand over to the O’Jays in 2020. Transport Secretary Chris Grayling commented: ‘Previous...
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